Four sons killed in war and a pull-down blind to hide their names

There are six Whitelaws on the ‘Honor Roll’ in the community hall in Briagolong, a small town in Victoria’s central Gippsland. The roll lists 62 local men who fought in the Great War.

The Whitelaws were brothers. Sadly, three didn’t come home from the war; another was wounded and died from ongoing complications a few years after returning to Australia. Two survived.

Honour rolls are found in every country hall in Australia; a reminder of the huge contribution rural men made to the war effort. But this honour roll in Briagolong is different. Above it is a frame for a pull-down blind. I noticed it as I was taking part in the local ukulele strum session. My mind soon wandered from Bad Moon Rising to the six Whitelaw brothers.

I noticed the Honor Roll during a ukulele class in the Briagolong Hall.

I wanted to find out more about the Whitelaws and why the blind frame was above the honour roll so I met with Dennis Browne from the Briagolong RSL. Dennis’ grandfather, Lionel Whitelaw was one of six brothers who served in the Great War.

Lionel married Martha (Mattie) Eyre Hood in 1917. (Dennis tells me Martha was the first white woman born at Lake Eyre.) Lionel and Martha had twin sons who they named after two of their uncles killed in action, Ivan and Robert. Sadly the twins died in infancy. Martha died of tuberculosis in 1933. Lionel died a few months later (According to the Gippsland Heritage Journal, number 30.)

Dennis Browne is the grandson of Lionel and Martha Whitelaw.

The Whitelaws on the Honour Roll

There are six Whitelaws honoured in Briagolong. Four of the eight Whitelaw brothers, Angus, Ken, Bob, and Ivan, made the supreme sacrifice during World War I. Lionel and Donald were wounded. There are no known graves for Bob, Angus and Ivan.

Left to right: Bob, Ivan and Ken Whitelaw
  • Angus (24th Battalion, killed in action in 1916 at Mouquet Farm at Pozieres in France, aged 17).
  • Robert (21st Battalion, killed in 1917 at Bullecourt aged 32),
  • Ivan (12th Battalion, killed near Meteren in 1918, aged 24),
  • Kenneth was wounded in 1918, returned to Australia, but died of his wounds in 1922.
  • Lionel was wounded and returned to Australia in 1916. He died in 1933 – his family believe his death was due to his war service.
  • Don was wounded and gassed at Messines in 1918 and returned to Australia. (Sadly, his toddler daughter Pearl, and Annie’s first granddaughter, died after drinking petrol.)
Don, Rob, Ivan, Lionel, Angus and Ken via: http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article242674264

A pull-down blind was used to protect a grieving mother from the sight of the names of her four sons who made the supreme sacrifice.

Dennis Browne confirmed local folklore that a blind was fixed above the honour board to hide the names of his grandfather and his grandfather’s brothers. The blind was pulled down when Annie Whitelaw, the boys’ mother, was near the building. It was to protect her from the sight of the names of her sons who never came home. Dennis told me the original, dusty blind has recently been found in a store room.

It’s reported that “every year Annie would sit crying in her horse and jinker watching the Anzac Day march from a distance, because she could not bear to go any closer”.

Annie Whitelaw, the mother of nine children, six of which served in the Great War, rests in the Briagolong Cemetery. Despite losing five brothers, Annie and husband Bob’s youngest son Kelvin enlisted in the RAAF in 1941. According to the Gippsland Heritage Journal, it looks like he didn’t serve overseas. Annie died in 1927. He husband died in 1945, aged 91, and is apparently buried in Annie’s grave.

On her headstone is a quote by Conan Doyle: “Happy is she who can die with the thought that in the hour of her country’s greatest need she gave her utmost.”

I felt uncomfortable when reading that on her gravestone. It will take a lot to convince me that Annie Whitelaw was happy about the sacrifice her sons made in the Great War.

Lest We Forget.

Anzac Day 2021: If you’d like to pay your respects to the Whitelaw brothers and others who served, the dawn service gets underway at 6am at Briagolong’s Anzac Park, followed by a free gunfire breakfast at the RSL Log Cabin. The main service is at 0930 at Anzac Park, followed by morning tea at the RSL Log Cabin. Two-up starts at 2.

ABOUT THE BLOGGER: Lisa Herbert is a death literacy advocate, a cemetery wanderer, journalist and author of The Bottom Drawer Book: an after death action plan, an informative and amusing workbook and funeral planning guide for those who want to prepare for the inevitable. It is available in Australia for $24.95, including postage (Additional postage of AU$8 is payable for overseas orders). 

Telling stories from the grave: Gold Coast teen’s memorial becomes a technological world first

Strolling through a pretty memorial park nestled between Brisbane and the Gold Coast, I stumbled across technology that will revolutionise how the stories of the dead are told and how the deceased are remembered.

Gold Coast teen Lucas Millott died suddenly from a heart condition aged 15. His memorial is at Eco Memorial Park in Stayplton, halfway between Brisbane and the Gold Coast.

In between the headstones, plaques, photos, flowers and trinkets at Eco Memorial Park at Stapylton, there was a headstone that had a little white plastic-looking disk stuck to it. The disk is Bluetooth-enabled technology which enabled me to get to know Gold Coast teen Lucas Millott via an App I’d just downloaded on my phone. Sadly Lucas died in class last September.

The Memento is fitted with a Bluetooth beacon which connects to the modUrn App to reveal the story of the deceased. It provides a central place for photos, videos, voice recordings, music, documents – all sorts of things.

The little disk is called a Memento and it’s fitted with a Bluetooth beacon that relays information to the modUrn App (more about modUrn in a sec). Lucas’ parents and friends have uploaded photos, videos, documents and text on to the App. When someone like me comes within five metres of the memorial or grave, that information becomes accessible on my smartphone. But, as someone who’s not connected with Lucas or his family, I could only see a handful of the information that had been uploaded onto the App. Lucas’ family have the final say on who can see what. Just like social media, the information can be either public or private or a mix of both.

I took some screenshots of what I saw when I logged on to the App as I stood at the garden site of Lucas’ memorial:

Who was Lucas?

Sadly Lucas made the news when he died in class at Ormeau Woods State High School last September. The 15yo suffered from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy which can cause sudden cardiac death in one per cent of those with the disease.

Lucas liked technology and gadgets. Headphones sit on his memorial stone and his love of his Xbox is written on his memorial plaque. It makes sense that his grave is the first in the world to be using what’s called a Memento (developed by an Aussie company called modUrn).

Lucas would have been 16 a couple of weeks ago so his friends, family, classmates and his dog Leila attended a memorial day for him. Photos from that day have since been uploaded to the App.

Lucas’s mum Agneta Millott says it’s great that anyone who visits her son’s memorial will be able to see life events and photos of Lucas.

“I’m hoping that whoever goes there can scroll through the photos, enjoy great memories of Lucas and sit there with a smile on their face.

“Seeing new updated stories and new images from his friends and also messages when others are visiting Lucas’s memorial in the future is going to be great”, said Agneta. 

Who’s behind this technology?

Followers of this blog and my Facebook page know that I’m a cemetery wanderer who likes to give a voice to those who can no longer speak. Cemeteries can teach the living such valuable lessons about the past and this technology offers a very cool way of doing that. I’m in no way affiliated with this company but I am very excited by what I’ve seen.

As soon as I got home from the memorial park I rang the young creator of the Memento for a chat. Sonia Vachalec is a photographer by trade. (Just hours before I rang her she’d signed a deal for this technology to be distributed in three countries including the USA. SO COOL – a little Aussie company doing big things – the concept has been created, developed and manufactured here in Australia.)

Sonia’s dad died when she was in her 20s and her stepfather died five years ago. She had stacks of their photos, voice recordings and videos lying around. “I was hoarding so many things,” she admits.

Sonia wanted to collate all her memories in one spot “so there was a time capsule to capture the essence of the person that can be accessed at any time or any place”.

Urns have the technology too!

Sonia hasn’t just created the Memento, the little disk that sits on a grave or memorial. The same technology is included in a bunch of funky urns called modUrns. So now the cremated ashes (called cremains) of Granny Mary can sit in the lounge room and you can access all her memories, photos, videos, letter, documents, certificates, story tellings, family tree, whatever, via the App.

Yup, that’s an urn for cremated ashes. The world’s first Smart Urn! The Bluetooth technology sits in the top, powered by a small battery that will need changing every couple of years. When your phone is within five metres of the urn you can use the App on your phone to scroll through photos, videos, etc.

The modUrn is certainly not your traditional-looking urn. And it can’t hold all the ashes of Granny Mary. (They hold about a litre or 61 cubic inches but these days lots of people are starting to split the ashes of their loved ones anyway.)

Here’s a video explainer of what you can do with the modUrn technology. https://youtu.be/JGssGwnOK7E

Sonia has a six-year-old girl who’s too young to remember the times she spent with her grandfather who passed away when she was 2. But she now has a physical reference of her Pop in the shape of a modUrn that is filled with photos of her grandfather. It sits next to the TV in the lounge room.

“She picks it up and hugs it sometimes,” said Sonia.

Death in the modern era

When it comes to accepting death and talking about it, Australians are way behind the times. While other cultures have a very personalised and hands-on approach to death and funerals, Aussies don’t want a bar of it. So it’s great to see an Australian company that’s leading the way in offering people an easy way to remember their loved ones. And yes, that includes pets as well. There’s a pet range of modUrns as well!

ABOUT THE BLOGGER: Lisa Herbert is a cemetery wanderer, journalist and author of The Bottom Drawer Book: an after death action plan, an informative and amusing workbook and funeral planning guide for those who want to prepare for the inevitable. It is available in Australia for $24.95, including postage (Additional postage of AU$9 is payable for overseas orders). She enjoys telling the stories of the dead because they reveal so much of our history and way of life.

Lisa Herbert holds The Bottom Drawer Book: an after death action plan.
Lisa Herbert has authored The Bottom Drawer Book: an after death action plan, a informative and amusing funeral planning guide.

The life lessons of dying children

A South African paediatrician’s insights have attracted much attention on Twitter this weekend. Dr Alastair McAlpine asked some of his terminal paediatric palliative care patients what they had enjoyed in life, and what gave it meaning. As listed on his Twitter page, here are some of the responses:

South African paediatrician Dr Alastair McAlpine (photo via Twitter)
Dr Alastair McAlpine asked some of his terminal paediatric palliative care patients what they had enjoyed in life. (Photo via Twitter)

First: NONE said they wished they’d watched more TV. None said they should’ve spent more time on Facebook. None said they enjoyed fighting with others. None enjoyed hospital.

Many mentioned their pets: ‘I love Rufus, his funny bark makes me laugh.’

‘I love when Ginny snuggles up to me at night and purrs’.

‘I was happiest riding Jake on the beach.’

Many mentioned their parents, often expressing worry or concern: ‘Hope mum will be ok. She seems sad.’

‘Dad mustn’t worry. He’ll see me again soon.’

‘God will take care of my mum and dad when I’m gone’.

All of them loved ice-cream.

All of them loved books or being told stories, especially by their parents: ‘Harry Potter made me feel brave.’

‘I love stories in space!’

‘I want to be a great detective like Sherlock Holmes when I’m better!’

“Folks, read to your kids! They love it,” said Dr Alastair.

Many of Dr Alastair’s young patients wished they had spent less time worrying about what others thought of them, and valued people who just treated them ‘normally’.

‘My real friends didn’t care when my hair fell out.’

‘Jane came to visit after the surgery and didn’t even notice the scar!’

Many of them loved swimming, and the beach. ‘I made big sandcastles!’

‘Being in the sea with the waves was so exciting! My eyes didn’t even hurt!’

Almost ALL of them valued kindness above most other virtues: ‘My granny is so kind to me. She always makes me smile.’

‘Jonny gave me half his sandwich when I didn’t eat mine. That was nice.’

‘I like it when that kind nurse is here. She’s gentle. And it hurts less’.

Almost ALL of them loved people who made them laugh: ‘That magician is so silly! His pants fell down and I couldn’t stop laughing!’

‘My daddy pulls funny faces which I just love!’

‘The boy in the next bed farted! Hahaha!’

Laughter relieves pain.

Kids love their toys, and their superheroes.

‘My Princess Sophia doll is my favourite!’ ‘I love Batman!’ (All the boys love Batman).

‘I like cuddling my teddy.’

Finally, they ALL valued time with their family. Nothing was more important.

‘Mum and dad are the best!’

‘My sister always hugs me tight’

‘No one loves me like mummy loves me!’

“Take home message: Be kind. Read more books. Spend time with your family. Crack jokes. Go to the beach. Hug your dog. Tell that special person you love them. These are the things these kids wished they could’ve done more. The rest is details. Oh… and eat ice-cream,” writes Dr Alastair.

The doctor later tweeted why terminal or very sick kids like ice-cream so much.

A few reasons, he says.

a) the cold helps with the mucositis (inflammation of the mouth and gut from chemo)

b) sugar raises the pain threshold

c) ice cream is just awesome.

🍦

ABOUT THE BLOGGER: Lisa Herbert is a cemetery wanderer, journalist and author of The Bottom Drawer Book: an after death action plan, an informative and amusing workbook and funeral planning guide for those who want to prepare for the inevitable. It is available in Australia for $24.95, including postage (Additional postage of AU$9 is payable for overseas orders). She enjoys telling the stories of the dead because they reveal so much of our history and way of life.

Lisa Herbert is a journalist and author